I just want to give up. Sometimes just simply engaging in this world seems like too big of a task. There are too many times where I have built up the courage to engage in day to day life, but have only been let down. Everyone seems so disconnected.I want to live in a world where everyone is totally in love with everyone. Where you are loved and accepted just because you exist, and you are shown endless support on your own unique journey through this world. If we were all like that, just imagine what this world would be like.
Sometimes I fantasize about living in the psych ward at a hospital, because it's the only place I can think of where letting every emotion run it's course is totally normal. Even though some people that have to stay there are chemically imbalanced, I think they can actually teach us a lot. Same with babies. Both babies and crazy people don't give a shit about censoring their urges and impulses. When they're pissed they scream and cry, when they're happy they laugh until they feel fulfilled, when they're just plain unsatisfied with the world, they throw a fit. Every emotion is expressed. The up's and down's of life are given their full attention. THEY are engaged in the world, yet often times their behavior is looked at as needing to be "fixed". Maybe the crazy people at the psych ward are actually the one's doing it right, and everyone else is fucked up.